Okay, so I’m working on getting better at blogging, and I would truly appreciate a kick in the ass from my friends when I’m lagging stupid, as in it’s been a loooong time since the first blog post on the new Soul Kiss Films website. It sort of boggles my mind that anyone would want to hear what I have to say about myself, or my kids, or my projects or my anything. Blogs are one of those things that I just don’t get, but I know they’re out there being written by thousands of people every day, and they’re being read, so I guess I’m going to have to come to grips with the reality that I HAVE TO BLOG!
So to honor my new commitment to blogging, I’m going to do something very foreign and talk about me personally, not one of the new projects (which would be oh so much easier.) Random things going on with me right now, in no particular order. Here goes…
1) At this moment in my life I’m really trying to find that high-wire balance between myself, my children and my work, and it’s been incredibly tough. I know all the other working parents out there are going through the same thing, so if any of you have had AHA moments about this, please comment below. I find that if I don’t take care of myself, I can’t take care of the other two things, but the other two things feel like TWO full-time jobs, so there is no time to take care of myself. If I don’t put the kids first I feel like a totally shitty parent, but if I don’t put the work first I can’t support the kids, which would be extra shitty! Are there really people out there who have found that balance, or is it a myth that balance even exists?
2) I would like to say (gulp, am I really going to share this) that I am very proud of myself for going after my new found dreams that really didn’t culminate until a few months ago. I began to find my voice, which I am so incredibly grateful for, and I’m going to honor that gift by being kind, gentle and supportive – to myself. I don’t think enough women out there are giving themselves the love and support they so readily give to others. Many of my wonderful friends are reaching for the stars, reinventing themselves, living life in ways they never thought to do before, and I’m overjoyed for them, cheering them on in as many ways as I can think of. I’m so proud of them, and it’s easy to shout it out, so why is it hard to say out loud that I’m proud of myself? *To Do – look in the mirror and say “I’m proud of you” – get used to it – yes, I’m talking to you.
3) Speaking of the women in my life, I thank God for them every day, truly. For those of you who don’t know me, when I say God I mean it in a generalized, higher power way, not an organized religion way. In any case, I am blessed when it comes to the friends department. Smart, funny, loving, brave, kind, and with me through thick and thin, as I am with them. The interesting thing is that I didn’t really have most of these amazing women in my life until a few years ago, and I really wonder how I got along without them. What happened a few years ago? I began making films for the lesbian niche audience, crowd funding, taking on social media (which I still suck at), reaching out, answering questions, letting people IN. There’s the real answer, opening up. Not easy…at…all, but so very worth it. Truth be told, I never did have many friends before this time in my life. I was not outgoing or social at all, but the few close friends (see LeeAnne above) I had were and are very precious to me. Letting People In is still a work in progress, but at least it’s beginning to feel organic now. I thank my friends for that.
I am now completely exhausted from writing this blog, and it’s taken much longer than expected…I’m pretty sure that’s why I don’t write them very often, BUT I remain committed. Until next time I wish all of you much joy and self-evolution!